Often

You would like to modify your statement with the word often. For example: “Short skirts are often accompanied by an increased risk of catcalls.” Forget every other problem with this sentence, and instead ask yourself, what does often mean here? At what number of short-skirt incidents swiftly accompanied by catcalls did this correlation between short skirts and receipt of catcalls cross the line into often? On the one hand, it’s a judgment call (often) made by an unspecified judge. On the other hand, is often necessary here? I mean, either short skirts are accompanied by an increased risk of catcalls or they aren’t. The risk is always there, or it never is. Furthermore, how will you know you are at risk if no one ever actually does it to you? But “Short skirts ARE accompanied by an increased risk of catcalls” may seem too definitive to you; perhaps you didn’t read all the literature, or the study hasn’t been peer reviewed, or the difference between wearing a short skirt and wearing nothing at all isn’t statistically significant. You are standing on a precipice with your tippy toes catching the chill wind of the truth as it roars past—the chill wind of the truth that soars above the abyss of error and deception. So you use “often” for plausible deniability, one hand holding on to a spindly hedge, because you really want to post something. (I think this metaphor needs work.)

People in short skirts often get catcalled. This bothers me less, for a lot of reasons. I’d again like to know who decided how many times was often, but at least there’s a discrete number of indiscreet incidents potentially to be counted, and once that number is ascertained, if it ever is, so can the statement’s truthiness. I like People in short skirts get catcalled often even better, especially if they get catcalled more than once per short-skirt-wearing episode.

By the way, “catcall,” according to the dictionary, does not include “Hello, beautiful!” Street harassment may be a better term.

Here's another, clearer, less fraught example of what I'm talking about. Unless you're really into dairy...

Milk will often go sour if left out on the counter. >> Milk may/will probably/is likely to go sour if left out on the counter.

I like to eliminate often when the dynamic in question (in this case, an increased risk) cannot occur more than once. No matter what, when I see often, I wonder about it.